What is Counselling

What is counselling?

Counselling involves talking to someone confidentially to help sort out personal issues and crises.

Counselling helps to raise personal awareness of self and others so that changes can be made in how we relate to other people in our lives.

What Conditions Can it Help?

  • Problems at work and home.
  • Relationships.
  • Bereavement.
  • Anxiety.
  • Low motivation.
  • Family issues.
  • Parenting.

What Benefits can be Expected?

Whilst no one can guarantee that counselling will work for you, if you are motivated you may begin to understanding yourself and gain an increased understanding of others. You may also gain an awareness of how your actions contribute to our problems and increase your options in response to situations.

About Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is the treatment of psychological problems through talking. There are many different models of psychotherapy. To me, the relationship that develops between client and therapist is the most important aspect. How can talking help? When we start to talk about problems we start to make a ‘story’ of our experiences. A psychotherapist helps by pointing out patterns and challenging negative ways of thinking and behaving so that options to change can be available.

What Conditions Can it Help?

Relationship problems. Family problems. Issues from childhood. Abuse in all forms. Depression. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Obsessive behaviour.

What Benefits can be Expected?

Whilst there can be no guarantees, people who undertake ‘therapy’ often find relief from the distress of psychological issues. They may also learn new ways of relating to others and start to value themselves.

Counselling for Couples

Our partners criticism often hurt because they know us so well and know our vulnerabilities. Counselling for Couples focuses on the underlying issues that are preventing two people from communicating and being close. Communication is key. Two people may believe they are talking to each other and yet communication breaks down because either something is not said clearly and/or the other person interprets what is said in a particular way. What is said is not always what the other person hears!.

Problem Solving and Personal Change

Account for the existence and significance of the problem. Learn to recognise problem situations when they occur. Make a decision to act differently by resisting the temptation to act impulsively.

Ignoring and doing nothing about the situation won’t help.

  • Account for change possibilities.
  • What, specifically is the problem?
  • What do you believe about yourself and others?
  • What feelings do you experience?
  • What do you do then?
  • What is the result?
  • Is this what you want?
  • What is really bothering me?
  • What I really wanted?

Set a workable goal of what you want to do to manage the problem.

The goals should be specific, measurable, realistic, relevant to the problem, what you want and what is in keeping with your values, and achievable.

What would the problem situation be like if I handled it better?

What changes would take place in your lifestyle?

Change possibilities

Generate a number of possible responses which you might chose to pursue to achieve your goals.

Decide on a course(s) of action you want to take which are most likely to result in a positive outcome for you and others involved.

Personal abilities and options

Act on your decision and verify the effectiveness of the behaviour in problem solving. Evaluate, learn from mistakes and modify in the light of experience.

What actions worked? What could be improved? Next time I will….

Adapted from material referenced below:

  • Mellor K: Discount Matrix
  • D’Zurilla T.J. & Goldfried M.R. Cognitive processes, problem-solving and effective behaviour. In M.R. Goldfried and M. Merbaum (eds) Behaviour change through self control
  • Herbert M. Clinical Child Psychology, Social learning, Development and Behaviour

What is psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy is the treatment of psychological problems through talking.There are many different models of psychotherapy. To me, the relationship that develops between client and therapist is the most important aspect.How can talking help? When we start to talk about problems we start to make a ‘story’ of our experiences. A psychotherapist helps by pointing out patterns and challenging negative ways of thinking and behaving so that options to change can be available.

What Conditions Can it Help?

Relationship problems. Family problems. Issues from childhood. Abuse in all forms. Depression. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Obsessive behaviour.

What Benefits can be Expected?

Whilst there can be no guarantees, people who undertake ‘therapy’ often find relief from the distress of psychological issues. They may also learn new ways of relating to others and start to value themselves.

An Example of Anger Management

Creating Positive Inner Speech/Dialogue.

Ask yourself what sort of things lead to you behave in an angry way (your triggers)?

What might you do?

How is this self-defeating?

How do you want to respond which is different and good for you and the other person(s) involved?

Say to yourself …..

  • “Keep calm and remember what I want to achieve.”
  • “Be specific about what I want.”
  • “I can handle this”

If your anger is building up say ….

  • “I can take the time I need to think this through. I can keep control.”
  • “Relax. This is a signal telling me to control my anger.”
  • “I don’t have to win.”

And then …

  • I’m getting better at this every time I use it.